Dealing with change.

Change is so often really awkward. I'm not the sort of person that clings to things. I don't really care for continuing tradition, except in those cases where it actually has a communicable, intelligible, value or benefit as intangible as those may be. Doing something because that's the way it has always been done, to me, is a rediculous proposition ("That's how we have always done it" of course sometimes referred to as the seven most expensive words in business). I'm not a businessman, I just hate wasting time being unneccesarily busy when I could instead waste time for the sake of having time to waste. It's not so much about efficiency as it is about laziness; but it is also about mental stimulation. If you're doing something so often that you can even frame it in such banal historical terms then you owe it to yourself to spend as little time as possible doing it.

Whatever it is, it's abysmally dull.

There are an unquantifiable number of things I could find to do. I have tremendous difficulty achieving boredom. It happens most often when I have too much to do and for reasons entirely other than idleness. Even when I don't feel the need or capacity to engage in any number of leisurely demands on my time I can be extremely content to just clear my mind for a while, or alternatively let it churn through whatever thoughts have been accumulating in the backlog. I don't have enough time to frivolously spend as I have ways to frivolously spend it as, I expect, nor do you when you think about it.

It frustrates me to no end when progress is met with stubborn defiance that functions only to service the common human fear of change. The phenomenon where people, so conditioned to practice their own self defense through memetic stasis, build irrational obstacles to something new faster than you can think to rationally dispell them. This process has been my primary source of frustration for months and that frustration has, despite my generally competent coping mechanisms, bled through into my life and my interactions. I'm putting a stop to that.

I'm finding my balance again. Rebuilding some of the resilience that has been worn down over the last couple of years. I can't say from exactly where this actualisation has suddenly popped into my consciousness but it's long overdue.