Stuck in Time

The greatest preservers of time are people. It's perhaps only after a period of absence that you can best appreciate the reality behind the cliché that people never change. While I wonder if its the fact that the behaviours I notice are the ones that trouble me; those are the kinds of behaviours I would generally hope to improve in myself. Things that are making them unhappy, things that cause them grief and are sources of stress, that interfere in their relationships. I find it difficult to comprehend how a situation that makes people unhappy can persist for years with no attempt by anyone involved to remedy the situation.

The details change over time but the behaviour and opinions that are at fault persist as strongly as ever.

I have come to believe that the force working to preserve the status quo is one that we are all guilty of: the distasteful notion of backing down when you are demonstrably correct. It seems contrary to personal integrity to be both definitively correct and yet surrender the battle. When you are dealing with other people, upon whom realisation of the truth may have a negative effect, being right may well be a losing strategy. At least in the short term. Combined with an unwillingness to back down even when incorrect, simple stubbornness, you have a stalemate that might well last for more than a decade.

I wouldn't be so audacious as to claim that I am somehow immune to this; I'm sure that it's a phenomenon most easily observed from a distance. However, if something makes you unhappy and your strategy for dealing with it refuses to alleviate the problem then you owe it to yourself and everyone else involved to look for an alternative; even when that alternative means swallowing your pride. If only it were that simple, I know. Every solution starts with a first step. You have to put some trust in other people that they will appreciate and respond to your gesture whether they really understand it or not. Most people being decent people I would hope that some progress could be made.

The alternative is to preserve the same dance for years.

Backing Away

Location, location, location.