If there's one talent I am envious of it's the ability to sit surrounded by an audience and recount a story that keeps every listener rapt and enthralled. I can't do it, and not for lack of trying. I tend to stumble over words, get tied up and sometimes just mangle the pronunciation of words I would otherwise use every day in conversation. I'm simply more eloquent in writing. So it's little surprise that I choose to express my desire to tell stories in this medium. It's both simultaneously disengaged from my audience while being infinitely more personal. The natural horror with which I am stricken when faced with the immediate judgement of a group of people is simply not present. You don't get the story until it's finished; when I am comfortable and confident in it's readiness. I have ensured that it's meaning is captured in the words that I have selected rather than choked up and dropped inelegantly.
There is still stage fright however. I am loathe to release my writing to be seen once complete. There's still a mustering of courage required before your eyes are permitted to look over what's written but this I can manage. I am for most just a name on the page, distant and impersonal. Even if you enjoy what you read I still have this level of anonymity and don't have to face you directly. Even when the story is intimate and personal, I can share these things without ever really connecting. There is a security in this that I enjoy.