On Wallets

I have some gift money left over from Christmas and my birthday (they’re pretty close together). In fact, I have all that I was given, and have sensibly set it aside for very responsible and adult-like purposes. I would like to spend some of it though, and I’ve decided that, of all the exciting ways to spend a few pounds, I’m probably going to replace my aging and tattered wallet. I know - I should have warned you to take a seat prior to that little revelation. Pick yourselves up and I’ll continue.

I started asking myself what I wanted in a wallet. There are actually quite a lot of options out there; what material should it be made from, different styles and sizes, incorporated phone cases and the whole nine yards. It’s staggering exactly how many options you have, as the prospective wallet purchaser, and most of them achieve additional functionality above and beyond housing a couple of cards, a handful of coins and some folding currency.

This poses a problem for me. Having looked at the Walletator 6000 with its concertina of paper aeroplane holders and multifunctional built-in automated note-crisper I couldn’t help but arrive at the conclusion that everyone is trying to offer me more while what I really want is less. My old, beat up, balding wallet has a bunch of ‘features’ that I don’t use; from surplus card holders to a transparent ID pocket and this fiddly little pocket with no determinable function. What I actually want is something that holds a couple of cards and the occasional ten pound note. I don’t even really want any coin carrying capacity.

Suffice to say there are very few wallet-crafters who advertise their wares based on what they don’t do as opposed to what they do… do. The search continues.